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push it! [Oct. 17th, 2004|01:57 am]
[mood |coldcold]
[music |My Chemical Romance]

Jeez where have I been? College.

I love living on my own. I like the fact the my priorities are different. I needed change. Just thought I'd reinstate that fact.

New developments:
~I f-ing love jazz.
~I have learned I have no practice ethic or dicipline.
~I enjoy being a square peg.
~I dislike elevator music.

That is all.
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Dammit. [Aug. 4th, 2004|11:15 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |Coheed and Cambria]

I really have figured that not much of anyone reads this journal, since it was never really mine in the first place, so it gives me a perfect opportunity to bleed my heart for all to see (behind blinded eyes of course).

But I don't feel like doing THAT now.

College two weeks to get me out of madness. I've really been staring at my life lately. I guess thats a side effect of the summer between lives (i.e. post-grad, pre-college). I guess I wonder where I'm going and if I'm going in the right direction and if I'm ever going to be there. And "there" changes so much, I really don't know how it's gonna be. Which makes things exciting, but still makes me just sit on my living room couch and stare at my life.

My eyes graze the surface of someone
I barely knew in the first place,
All I can see is me over you on the ground;
I need you to drug me with your kisses.

My hands feel the desolate heart
I ripped out in the first place,
Baby, it was revenge and all
I think about is screaming your name.

My legs climb your acid soul;
Did you have faith in the first place?
I'd break down your needs if
I didn't need you so bad.

My heart feels your pain
As my hand strikes your cold face.
I destroy to create.
I will be your first place.

So I wrote that and I don't really like it because it makes me sound too euphorically determined. It would never happen, me being his "first place", but it makes me feel better to write down my false determination.

On a lighter note, I had a really cool dream last night about someone I used to know and it was sexual and I loved it. The end.
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Put a star in my pocket please. [May. 25th, 2004|01:11 am]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music | Miles Davis "Blue in Green"]

School's over.


I saw Fight Club for the first time. I really liked it. I really liked Brad Pitt, but i mean the plot w as cool too :).

Makes me laugh.

I'm tired of horny boys. Are there and good guys in the world?? ......*crickets*......Didn't think so. Man I'm being cynical tonight.

On a lighter note (litteraly), I'm listning to Miles Davis and its making me happy.

Much Love.
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This is weird but lets see who does it. [May. 8th, 2004|02:27 am]
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out about me?
13. Emotionally, what stands out about me?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
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make me break me. [Jan. 28th, 2004|04:08 pm]
man, typing is a task for me today. it sucks.
Made pot in art today. :) not really...i did make a pot though. it looked cool, all angular...im gonna use it to hold a candle i think.
People piss me off sometimes... i guess everyone gets pissed of at everyone at some point and i guess today was my point. didnt show i was pissed though, sometimes its just not worth it.
going to dance.
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Nights [Jan. 25th, 2004|12:43 am]
[mood |complacentcomplacent]
[music |Motion City Soundtrack]

This journal is old as hell.

I'm making it mine now.

I'm fixing to go watch Rules of Attraction, which is apparently all about sex. This is cool.

Bite Me :)
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My Big,Fat.....UMPA!!!! (another please?) [Aug. 30th, 2002|11:53 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Petee Yornee]

The crew went out tonight to go see my Big, Fat, greek Wedding which was absolutly halarious. The people around us were getting pissed off and that's always fun. I suggest everyone go see that movie because it was so awesome. Then we went to Waffle House and saw Lauren, Allison, and these guys they were with who happened to be quite nice to stare at. And then we went to Anna's house to play.......MAFIA!!!!!!! It was fun too. Oh also, we saw Maegan in the previews for Sweet Home Alabama. She's just an extra but shes in the preveiws and Hey! That is neat!
Today was a pretty awesome day in general. I mean everything we just good. I'm super excited cause the wedding is next week and my aunt is comming in from seattle and i get to walk down the aisle in a pretty dress and get my picture taken and stuff like that. Of course it is obvious that i can't wait to do all that, but ya know, I guess I'll have to.....

Always use windex.
Did you know the russian word for lips is Usta? USTA!
- your firends all laughed....usta....
Mrs. Ima Owldwon
yes life is fun.
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slam....oh my feet !! [Aug. 15th, 2002|09:38 pm]
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]
[music |Skillet- Gasoline]

See, the people at our school are gay and dont know how to sell lockers so for the past 2 days I've stood in line at lunch for a locker. There is one lady selling the lockers( who happens to be my neighbor) and ten million people wanting to buy one and three administrators talking and chatting right in front of us. THREE!!! And then one of them has the guts to actually go to us and tell us " sorry and dont complain but y'all wont be able to get a locker today cause yall got here to late in the line." We stood there the whole period. So we are like why don't you people get yours butts up and help a little. No, we didnt say that but i wish we would've. Anyways, today after standing again for another 15-20 minutes, I finally dont care about the other people around me getting a locker and cheat because I go up to my neighbor whose selling lockers and get her to reserve me a top locker on the front hall way. Sometimes it is really nice to have the hook up. Long live going back to school.....
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Heart and Stuff [Aug. 5th, 2002|12:14 am]
[mood |hyperhyper]
[music |Squad Five-o]

OK so I went to my cousins wedding shower Saturday morning. It was eventful. I didn't know many people but I got to play wedding pictionary and what's better than that? It got me thinking. I've always had this major obsession with love, and all this marriage stuff make me want to get married!!! My mother thinks I'm crazy and says if i get married before im like 30, its too soon. Ok whatever. She got married when she was 20. i really do though. I think that finding the guy that completes you is the most romantic thing. I know marriage isn't all about romance. I mean you have to be able to live with the guy. And I definatly don'y want to get married now. I mean that would be a big mistake. Plus whoever I'm goung to marry hasn't been shown to me yet. But when I finially get there, I'll be really happy. Maybe I have too many fairy tales in my head or something. Lol. I don't know. I think it would be awesome though to find the person for you. God says once you get married that He sees the two of you as one person. It's like the other peice of my puzzle is wandering out there. I mean i dont even know who he is or what he looks like. I dont know his name or what hes like. But I will spend the rest of my life with him. I just think that is so cool.
But for now I am stuck being a bridesmaid (which is just as fun) in my cousins wedding. I'm really happy for her too because she really deserves it. She's been through alot. When she was 16 she had a car wreck that shes lucky to be alive from. She still has to wear a boot on her foot and has had countless surgeries to reconstruct her foot and face. She has come through it though and I'm so glad this guy is in her life now. He's a really good guy. And its another excuse for me to play dress-up. I seriously hope I get to walk down the aisle with a hot guy but I think I'll end up being with my cousin, David. But I dont care. It still is awesome.

*Song quiz*
"I came into this world as a reject"

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Contemplation, contemplation. It is good, it is good. [Jul. 29th, 2002|01:25 am]
[mood |complacentcomplacent]
[music |buzzing computer sound]

Went to Hannah's tonight after Cole and her crew came over swiming. We watched crossroads. I, once again, grew jealous of Carrie. I don't even know the chick and here I was cringing the minute she sat on Chris' lap. I don't know why it bothers me. It really shouldn't because supposedly I should be on a different page. But Ive done that the past few times Ive seen him and her together. I feel totally out of control about it and that's enough to kill me right there. Jeez louise I wish life was a little less complicated.
Here's a new poem I wrote,enjoy. It has nothing to do with what I just talked about.

Fears are for the Fearless.

The Passionate.

The Dreamers.

The Lovers.

Fear is never a constant in the Mortal Society.

The Habitual Society.

The Addictive Society.

The Monotonous Society.

For what is there to fear in a world of nothing?


It is nothingness that we fear. It leads to nothing. And nothing is a dead end track of blackness.

Fear is the only way to be free. Fear is enough to throw your heart on a line through a fire, thick and consuming.

Fear is stronghearted, wrapped in a black bow. There will I fall and pick it up.

Fear is not studious.

Fear is the only key to unlock the memory; fear is the only door to see your future.

Fears are justly enough for the fearless.

^song quiz^
"With the lights out, it's less dangerous, here we are now, entertain us"
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